A fundraising letter is, first and foremost, a letter. Sure, there are times when the right tone is outrage. But even then, your letter still should read like a letter from one person to another. Not an essay. Not a philosophical treatise. Not a journalistic think piece.
Direct mail is the most immediate and personal medium. You should make use of that fact. You want your reader to feel that the signer of the letter is a real and concerned person, not a faceless corporate entity. Think about the signer. What kind of person is he or she? Think about your charity’s brand. What are its characteristics? Try to incorporate some of these qualities into your letter.
Overall, you want to strive for an informal, warm, conversational tone, because that’s what most people respond to. Use contractions. Use italics for emphasis. Vary your sentence length. Begin sentences with “and,” “but,” “so” and “or.” No, it’s not grammatically incorrect. Use fragments. (They are grammatically incorrect, but who cares? They’re conversational.) When you’re done writing, go back and reread it again. Does it sound like a letter written by a human being in the 21st century to another human being? When you can answer yes, you’re good to go.
You’re in fundraising and development. What do you think? Are your appeals working the way you want right now? Comment, or get in touch to compare notes.
Yes, you want the stories in your fundraising appeals to spark emotion in donors.
But no, you can’t go crazy with it.
If you overuse adjectives and metaphors, you risk ending up with drivel like this: “The awesome burden of Sasha’s unending poverty fell like a heavy weight upon her small shoulders, and as she struggled to provide for herself and her kids and considered the hopelessness of her plight, the tears streamed down her face like rain on a windowpane.”
Wow — what drama! The problem is, the drama is so phony that it upstages credibility. And it sounds like AI nonsense.
Save the florid writing for your 1940s-era detective novel. The best stories and descriptions for fundraising are ones that tell themselves without embellishment. Think Hemingway. Be direct. That’s how to pull readers in.
Go back and reread your stories and descriptions with an eye toward eliminating unneeded adjectives and adverbs. Instead, focus on strong verbs. That’s where the power is, because verbs are action, and people lock onto writing that has action. Your copy will move readers. It will have the ring of truth.
You’re in fundraising and development. What do you think? Are your appeals working the way you want right now? Comment, or get in touch to compare notes.
To engage your readers, you want to pull your ideas down from the ether and express them through the things of the world. Copy that’s abstract won’t grab donors. Verbal images will.
A verbal image is different from a story. Fundraising stories are narratives — this happens, then that happens and so on. A verbal image, even though it may have some narrative elements, is essentially a snapshot — a succinct, sharply focused picture that readers immediately get. And that’s where it draws its power.
A verbal image is concrete. You can write in your appeal, for example, that your charity has 1,000 pounds of medical supplies to distribute. But that’s abstract. It’s unlikely to have much of an impact, because your donor can’t envision 1,000 pounds. Instead, you can write that your charity has boxes and boxes of antibiotics, bandages, vaccines, stethoscopes and crutches, stacked from the floor to the ceiling, filling up the entire warehouse, just waiting to be shipped. That’s concrete. It’s something your donors can see in their mind’s eye.
You can use verbal images to make just about every part of your offer and your appeal more compelling for donors, keeping in mind that the images should be based in fact and not just made-up.
Just as you use photos and other visual images, you can make your appeals more compelling and more effective with verbal images. To pull donors in, don’t just say it. Show it with verbal imagery.
Unfortunately, they might not be getting it from the appeals they receive.
Donors see vague, abstract messaging like “give hope,” “stand with us,” “join our movement,” “make a difference” and other ambiguities.
This vagueness is too common in fundraising appeals of all kinds. It denies donors the ability to take action, which is one of the main things they want. It fails to connect with donors on the level of personal values. And it makes the nonprofit seem like it’s being very careful not to say anything specific (Will my donation actually do anything, or does it just go into a general-fund black hole?). Donors start to feel like they’re reading one long disclaimer instead of a fundraising letter.
That’s why when a donor gets an appeal from a nonprofit asking her to give to help build a sustainable energy infrastructure, she’ll probably toss it. But if the appeal promises a specific action – like shutting down the fracking in her town – and asks for her help, she’s more likely to give.
You see it in a lot of fundraising appeals. The first few sentences of the letter force the donor into the position of being a passive reader as opposed to being a participant.
The appeal might open with a discussion of a topic. It might present the donor with facts, figures, and opinions. It might cite statistics. The donor is a reader, going through what sounds very much like a corporate memo, instead of a personal letter.
So what’s the right approach when you want your donors to be participants instead of just passive readers? Of course there are many different approaches. But in most cases, an involving letter opening will have “you” and “I” references. It will bring the donor into the action. And it will try to be emotionally engaging.
A letter lead like this makes the donor a reader:
“Food is a basic human right. Yet every year, 45 million children under the age of 5 suffer from malnutrition, and more than 3 million die from hunger-related causes…”
A letter like this makes the donor more of a participant:
“You might not see it. It doesn’t always make the news. But I can tell you, it’s heartbreaking. Innocent children, frail from malnutrition, starving to death. It’s a crisis, a tsunami of suffering, all around the world. I think about my own children…”
A strong, involving opening is like a promise to donors that whatever follows will be just as interesting. And when that happens, you’re far more likely to be on the way to winning their support as well as their loyalty.
You’re in fundraising and development. What do you think? Are your appeals working the way you want right now? Comment, or get in touch to compare notes.
Specifics sell. It’s true in commercial marketing, and it’s certainly true in direct response fundraising.
You see a lot of abstract concepts in fundraising appeals like ‘stand with us,’ ‘make a difference,’ and ‘send hope.’ What do those vague notions mean? Not much, really. They’re abstractions, concepts that are up in the clouds, not definite thoughts and things down here on earth.
Bottom line, these generalized abstractions aren’t motivating. They distract and create doubts in your donor’s mind. So, be specific.
Instead of ‘stand with us against homelessness,’ say, ‘Your gift of $5 provides a hot meal, a clean bed, and a night of safe shelter.’ That’s going to seem a lot more real and a lot more useful to your donors. It builds donor relationships too, because donors will see your nonprofit as the one that’s doing real things to solve real problems.
You’re in fundraising and development. What do you think? Are your appeals working the way you want right now? Comment, or get in touch to compare notes.
For direct mail fundraising, you have to keep it simple.
There’s a tendency to throw in lots of information in an effort to bolster the appeal. But this has the opposite effect. It just over-complicates the appeal.
This is especially important when it comes to the offer.
Pare down your ask until it’s an easy-to-understand statement, ideally something that simply and directly communicates ‘Your gift of $X will accomplish Y.’ Don’t complicate things with details about your nonprofit’s 25th anniversary, your organization’s history, your dedicated staff, your programs, and so on. Donors want to know the problem that needs to be solved, and they want to know what their gift will do to solve it. So tell them, without the embellishment.
Many nonprofits aren’t giving donors what they want.
And then those same nonprofits wonder why donors aren’t giving them what THEY want – donations.
Donors want a whole range of things in exchange for their gifts. One of those things surely is the intangible benefit of thinking of oneself as a good person.
And why not? Why shouldn’t donors think of themselves this way? Donors ARE good people for giving.
But many nonprofits fail to tap into this in their fundraising appeals. Maybe they think it’s too sentimental or too melodramatic. Nonsense.
You want to connect with your donors on a practical level (I’m sending food for starving people), but you also want to connect with donors on an emotional level (I’m doing something good that I can be proud of, something that shows I’m a good person.).
So how do you communicate this important intangible benefit to donors?
There’s the tried-and-true donor appreciation certificate with the donor’s name on it, saying how wonderful they are. That says, “you’re a good person for giving.”
There are special awards, like a Good Neighbor Award, that send the good-person message.
There are impact reports saying, “you made this good work possible,” which the donor understands as “I’m a good person for doing this.”
There are memberships in giving groups, like president’s clubs, where donors can see themselves as good people in the company of other good people
There’s messaging. You can suggest, you can imply, you can even come right out and say, “You’re a good person!” in donor communications.
There are many more ways to convey to donors that they’re good people. And when you give donors what they want, they’re more likely to return the favor. See the whole story at https://tinyurl.com/28e4pkjp
Why would a nonprofit tout their stewardship of donors’ money in an appeal and then throw in a bunch of free stuff?
Not sure.
But that’s what this one did. The appeal is from an international aid and relief charity. The letter begins:
“Trust, impact, and value are critical when you’re making decisions about giving to a charity.” No argument there. Most donors would probably accept that premise. It continues:
“You want to know that your hard-earned money is being put to the best use.” This is where it gets weird. This mailing includes a freemium, and that freemium is five full-size, full-color, single-fold greeting cards with five envelopes.
Now, is that the most extravagant freemium ever? Not by a long shot. Some nonprofits throw in address labels, calendars, note pads, and much more all into one mailing. But this particular freemium isn’t exactly the cheapest either. It’s not a simple bookmark, for example.
The point is, if you’re throwing in free stuff, is that the appeal where you want to get on your high horse about putting donors’ hard-earned money to the best use? We all know that most donors will just throw away all those greeting cards. Donors themselves probably realize that too. So from the donor’s perspective, how is that the best use of donors’ money?
There could be a time and place for messaging that talks about trust, value, and so on. But that messaging seems at odds with adding a bunch of freemiums.
Especially when those freemiums don’t relate directly to the offer of the appeal. True, these greeting cards show images of various countries and include small blurbs about the charity’s work. But still, they’re just greeting cards.
Some extras to include in an appeal that might be a little more on point would be an infographic card, a map, a fact sheet, an impact report, photos of aid recipients, handwritten notes from a field worker or a beneficiary, and others. Things like these might be more relevant to donors and would relate more directly to what the nonprofit does and what the donor’s impact would be.
Otherwise, it could look like you’re using free stuff to guilt donors into giving. And even if you’re doing that, and some nonprofits do (no judgement), you probably shouldn’t make the theme of the appeal how good you are with donors’ money. Because the free stuff makes that seem less believable.
Lately, many nonprofits are finding that they have to worry about something they never even considered before.
Sure, they had the usual worries about donor attrition, revenue, acquisition, retention, and so on.
But now, on top of all that, they have to worry that the federal government might be coming after them.
“The Trump administration is mounting a sweeping offensive on America’s nonprofit sector, deploying a blend of funding cuts, the elimination of tax benefits, bureaucratic paralysis and even installing a small DOGE team to target organizations that challenge the president’s agenda,” according to Politico (4/18/2025).
At least two nonprofits are reacting in the best way there is – with direct mail.
Take the Environmental Defense Fund. The Trump administration has canceled or interrupted hundreds of EPA grants, shut down more than 100 climate studies, and ended National Science Foundation grants for projects related to climate change. These cuts directly affect the EDF.
So they’re firing up their donors.
EPSON MFP image
Amnesty International is another example. The Trump administration stopped U.S. foreign aid, halting programs for health care, food security, shelter, and humanitarian support. And ended funding for programs supporting survivors of sexual violence, refugees, and marginalized communities.
Amnesty International has said that these cuts will leave millions without essential services.
So they’re firing up their donors too.
EPSON MFP image
Both of these appeals are following a bold, in-your-face strategy to get noticed, get the appeal opened, and move donors.
There’s the oversize outer envelope (11” x 5” for one and 11-1/2” x 5 for the other).
There’s the simple, powerful messaging on the outer envelope: “Fight Back!”
There’s the bold graphic approach, with huge fonts and attention-grabbing reds and yellows.
And there’s the invitation to take action. The Amnesty International carrier touts an “activist tool kit inside.” And the Environmental Defense Fund envelope announces, “Petitions Inside!”
Inside, the letters continue the “take action” theme, urging donors to donate and to get involved.
You can see the strategy in both of these outer envelopes. They’re all about demanding attention, increasing the open rate, and getting donors motivated. When you see an appeal envelope like this in your mailbox, you know it’s something important. Your interest has been piqued. Your ire has been roused. And your means for fighting back are right at hand, inside the envelope.
These are tactics and strategies that virtually all nonprofits could use in their appeals, especially now when there’s so much chaos and uncertainty.
That’s why, as this turmoil continues and as the economy inches closer toward recession, nonprofits will have to grab donors’ attention and motivate them like never before. And that means direct mail tactics likes these will become necessary not only for success but also for survival.
Fundraising Copywriter George Crankovic 