Fundraising Copywriter George Crankovic

Category: fundraising

  • The offer in fundraising

    In direct response fundraising, what’s an offer?

    Is it like the offer in commercial direct marketing, or is it completely different?

    Why does the offer matter?

    Is it really the most important thing in a letter appeal or email appeal, as some say?

    If you include an offer in an appeal, won’t that just make your fundraising seem too transactional?

    Is the offer just an exchange of money for outcomes, or does it do more to actually motivate and inspire donors to give?

    Sure, an offer may work in a letter, but what if you’re more interested in your nonprofit’s brand. An offer doesn’t have anything to do with that, does it?

    Good questions, all. Let’s take a closer look at some answers here: https://tinyurl.com/22e74ea4

  • When fundraising is too cautious for its own good

    You can just see the fundraising team around a conference table trying to create an appeal that doesn’t draw any complaints, doesn’t raise even one hackle, doesn’t offend in any way, real or imagined.

    And the result is this:

    For many of our community members, living without shelter can be traumatic and dangerous.

    That’s the first line of the email. Talk about stating the obvious. “Living without shelter can be traumatic”? The only possible response to that generalization would be “no kidding.”

    It continues:

    And in the summertime, extreme temperatures make the experience even more perilous.

    Another obvious point, made even less impactful by the cautious, corporate-memo-style phrasing. But there’s more going on here. So, being homeless is an “experience” now? And in the summer, it’s “perilous”? That’s an understatement. In the southern part of the country where this nonprofit operates, the temperatures are in triple digits, have been for weeks, and will continue to be. For someone who’s out on the street, that must feel like living on the surface of the sun. You would bake out there. And even if you could find some piece of shade, it’s so hot that it would feel like the life is being drained right out of you. “Perilous” doesn’t begin to cover it.

    It continues:

    Neighbors will face the risk of dehydration, heat exposure, and worse… 

    Actually, they’ll die. Their hearts will stop beating, and they’ll die from the heat. As many homeless people do. Just as, in the winter months, homeless people freeze to death.

    It continues.

    That’s why I am writing to you today. This is a critical time of need in our community. Our community members without permanent shelter are looking for friends to stand up and help make summer not only bearable, but hopeful too.  

    A couple things going on here and in previous paragraphs. Referring to someone who’s homeless as a “community member” or as “living without shelter” or as “community members without permanent shelter” or as “neighbors” just wouldn’t ring true for donors, either when it comes to what they might know about homelessness or what they might presume about it. These are obvious, hollow euphemisms.

    Imagine you’re a donor, and you see a homeless man picking in a trash can for a half-eaten hamburger, do you think “Oh, there’s a community member without permanent shelter” or do you think “that man is homeless, he’s hurting, he deserves help”?

    Of course there are real concerns about ‘otherizing’ the beneficiaries of a nonprofit in fundraising, and they’re valid. But when those concerns result in bland, cautious, and sterile fundraising, it’s a problem.

    It’s a problem because it fails to convey the actual lived reality of the very people that the nonprofit hopes the donor will help. And in the end, that’s a disservice to the purpose of fundraising and to the people who need help. And it’s a disservice to donors, who want to accept the reality of a social ill like homelessness, confront it, and make a difference for the people caught up in it.

  • One sure way to make your fundraising better

    The single best thing you can do to improve your fundraising?

    Come to terms with a hard truth: You are not your donors.

    They’re probably older than you, for one thing, which means they have a completely different frame of reference, and for another thing, they have a completely different perspective about your organization, because they’re on the outside, not “in the bubble” like you are.

    These differences in perspective between you and your donors can cause problems when you’re creating your fundraising appeals.

    For example, these differences will influence the photos you use in your direct mail and email appeals, the kinds of stories you tell in your appeals, and how you write and structure your appeals.

    And all three of these will have a huge impact on how much money you’ll raise. There’s more to this. Get the whole story here: https://tinyurl.com/ewntb8h9

  • Want more of your regular donors to become monthly donors?

    Nonprofits love monthly donors for obvious reasons. Monthly donors give consistently, require less frequent fundraising, and tend to be more loyal.

    But to get regular donors to opt into monthly donor status, you have to make this seem like something they would want to do. Which makes this email effort so puzzling. It begins:

    I’m deeply grateful for your support as we work together to bring needed resources to our neighbors experiencing homelessness. 

    As our partner, you’ve truly provided a lifeline to many local community members, especially with the current high cost of living and the uncertainty that accompanies it. 

    That’s the opening. And for these two paragraphs, I’m wondering why they’re writing to me at all, except to express gratitude and suggest that our work is completed, since I’ve apparently already “provided a lifeline.”  I’m thinking “what’s this about? Is it a thank-you email?” It goes on:

    Because I know we share the vision of a community without homelessness, I’m inviting you today to join the [monthly donor program name], the [nonprofit’s] monthly giving circle. 

    Members of [monthly donor program name] donate monthly to ensure vital services are available all year long. This support is critical in ending the cycle of homelessness. 

    Oh, so that’s it. They want me to become a monthly donor. But wait a second, I thought that as an occasional donor I was already ‘sharing the vision’ and ‘ending the cycle of homelessness’ with the gifts I give, at least that’s what they’ve been telling me. It continues:

    With your [monthly donor program name] membership, you can help countless neighbors regain self-sufficiency and hope for the future.  

    Again, I thought I was already doing this with the gifts I currently give. It continues:

    And by signing up online, you can automate monthly gifts, save money on postage, and help reduce administrative costs, too — all while providing access to vital care for community members facing homelessness. 

    It’s only at this point, at the end of the email, that I see some reasons why I might actually want to become a monthly donor. But these reasons are only tacked on as an afterthought.

    A couple things about this. First, there’s this idea that every communication to a donor has to open with gratitude for their support. Sure, there’s a time for thanking and appreciating donors. But not in every communication. What’s more, by telling me that I’ve already provided a lifeline to community members, they’re suggesting that the job is completed, so what do you need me for as a donor?

    Second, if you want me to change my pattern of behavior – like going from an occasional donor to a monthly donor – you better give some pretty good reasons to do it. And those reasons should probably be at or very close to the beginning of the email in order to get my attention.

    Even more to the point, those reasons should be compelling. In this email, I’m offered the opportunity to “automate monthly gifts, reduce postage costs, and help reduce administrative costs.” These aren’t exactly barnburners. Not many donors are sitting in front of their computer thinking, “Gee, I’d really like to automate monthly gifts.”

    There are good, solid reasons a donor would consider becoming a monthly donor, but you have to lay out those reasons explicitly and do it in a way that’s interesting and advantageous for the donor. You can’t expect donors to fill in the gaps on their own and convince themselves. They won’t. Instead, they’ll just move onto the next email.  

  • Why this trait is essential for your fundraising

    Curiosity. It’s a trait that virtually all people share, and it’s one that we definitely want to tap into for fundraising.

    Arousing curiosity is a tried and true way to get donors to notice your direct mail or email appeal, encourage them to keep reading, and guide them to give a gift.

    Of all the techniques we use in direct response fundraising, curiosity is probably one of the most reliable.

    But how do you wield it? Three tips:

    • Reveal some information but not all of it. Curiosity lies in the gap between what we know and what we want to know.
    • Talk about the potential for a big reward or a big disaster. Donors will instinctively want to know what might be coming.
    • Shock or provoke your donors a little. You can nudge or even challenge your donors to want to find out more.

    There’s a lot more to each of these three tips – including specific examples – and you can find it here: https://tinyurl.com/293tk9pd

  • When disaster fundraising works and when it doesn’t

    If you haven’t already, you’ll probably soon receive a barrage of emails appealing to you for donations to help the victims of the horrible earthquake in Turkey and Syria. This is of course a worthy cause. The need is overwhelming. And the rest of the world should do everything possible to help.

    Which makes this email subject line so puzzling. Here it is:

    “How we’re saving lives in Turkey right now.”

    Huh.

    Then in the email itself, there’s this headline:

    “How we’re saving lives in Turkey right now.”

    Double huh.

    Imagine you’re a potential donor. What’s your reaction to that line? Mine is that it looks like they’re got everything covered. Time to move onto the next email in the inbox.

    With that subject line and headline, I’m left completely out of this as a potential donor. And that’s too bad.

    Because the quake zone is total devastation. Tens of thousands killed. Survivors left without shelter, food, sanitation. The risk of cholera and other diseases. It’s destruction on a mass scale.

    However much this nonprofit has done, it’s a drop in the bucket. There’s sooooo much more to do. They need my donation. And I want to give it. But they’re not making it easy. They’re not engaging me. In fact, they’re suggesting that I’m not needed.

    The text of the email begins by referencing the death and destruction. But in the second paragraph, it reiterates the work that the charity is doing. Again, giving the impression that they’ve got this covered and don’t need my gift.

    This is followed by a bulleted list. But it’s not a list of what needs to be done. It’s a list of what they’re already doing. Further on in the email, it says that their teams do whatever it takes.

    Granted, there is a donate button with the words “Rush your gift.” But still, the messaging has an inside-our-four-walls, organizational framing, not a donor-centric one. There’s a lot of “we,” “us,” and “look at what we’re doing,” instead of “you” and “here’s how you can help.”

    Of course this email will probably raise a lot of money. That’s the thing with disaster fundraising. It often does well even if it’s done badly, because donors are generous people who do want to help. Still, donors want to be involved. They want to feel like their support is needed. So instead of making it about what the nonprofit is already doing, it should be more about how much you, the donor, is urgently needed now to save lives. Messaging along those lines can raise even more revenue. Which would save even more lives.

  • How to keep your donors interested in your fundraising appeal

    It’s the age-old problem: how to engage the readers of your direct-response fundraising appeal to, first, start reading and then to continue reading.

    Luckily, we have some tips from Clarification blog:

    • Talk less about us (the nonprofit) and more about you (the donor).
    • Use shorter paragraphs to make copy more inviting and easier to read.
    • Don’t stop at a compelling headline or subject line. Also consider the subheads, the PS, the salutation, and other components to keep readers engaged.
    • Use a metaphor to paint a picture for your readers.
    • Use quotations but keep them short, so they’re more likely to be read.

    These are all good tips.

    But there’s one additional aspect to good copywriting to add to this list. It’s vital if you want to keep readers motivated, and that’s using transitions.

    Transitions are invaluable if you want to keep your readers moving from one paragraph to the next like a slinky toy going down stairs.

    And in linking your paragraphs together, transitions also make a piece of copy seem like a coherent, crafted whole – a good thing.

    The transitions to use? There are an infinite number, limited only by your imagination. But some that are frequently used include phrases like “that’s just the beginning,” “and don’t forget this,” “and here’s the point,” “we’re not done yet,” “what does this mean to you?” and many, many others.

    Using transitions is one of the best ways to help ensure that your readers take in your complete fundraising message. And that’s your best chance of moving them to give.

  • Two ways to begin a fundraising appeal – from Jerry Huntsinger

    In Jerry Huntsinger’s “86 Tutorials in Creating Fundraising Letters and Packages,” he makes a point about how to begin a fundraising appeal.

    He makes his point with an example. It’s an appeal for a cancer charity. It begins:

    “Children shouldn’t have to face the devastation of cancer and death. But they do. Each year, hundreds of children…”

    It’s the standard, institutional, boilerplate blah, blah, blah. Jerry notes that where the letter actually begins is in the fifth paragraph, with this:

    “Lance was diagnosed with leukemia two days before Christmas. He was 2 years old. ‘Lance was so sick that they flew us to Twin Cities for immediate treatment,’ his mother said. ‘His platelets were so low that his teeth bled through the night.’”

    BAM – there you are, right in the middle of the drama. Nothing institutional about that. Nothing blah, blah, blah about that. Especially that detail about the boy’s teeth bleeding – that detail gets you.

    Sure, starting an appeal with a story is a tried-and-true approach. But here’s the point. The first opening – “Children’s shouldn’t have to face …” – is basic expository prose. It’s simply explaining something. It’s simply conveying a generalization about children and cancer. It’s not trying to involve you. (It’s something you’d get from ChatGPT if you asked it to write an appeal about childhood cancer.)

    The second opening – “Lance was diagnosed …” – is meant specifically to involve you. It’s telling you that this letter is about a human drama playing out right before your eyes. It’s one human being talking to another.

    As Jerry says, the second opening will raise more money.

  • The envelope teaser

    The burning question in direct mail fundraising?

    Should you use a teaser for the outside envelope of your next appeal, or not?

    Some say the plain, blank envelope is the best ‘teaser,’ a no-teaser kind of teaser.

    But if you use a blank envelope to ‘trick’ people into opening it, and if the appeal isn’t something the donor wants or cares about, and they just toss it, then what have you really gained?

    That’s why the opposing camp suggests using a teaser in order to set the stage for the donor and get her interested in what the appeal is all about, so that when she opens the envelope, she’s ready for something that’s relevant and interesting.

    Along those lines, there are three basic types of teasers that work.

    There’s the offer teaser.

    There’s the benefit teaser.

    And there’s the curiosity teaser.

    To get the whole story – including specific examples for each kind of teaser – visit https://tinyurl.com/ew65trr3

  • What’s wrong with thanking donors?

    I just got an email with the subject line “I’m so grateful.” Let’s see what this is all about.

    Turns out it’s from a rescue mission, an organization that I love and support.

    Here’s the text of the email:

    Dear George,

    What a wonderful day! And you helped make it happen.

    I cannot thank you enough for your support of our #GiveFromHomeDay.

    Your generosity makes a life-changing difference for the people we serve — homeless men, women and children who are desperately in need of hope.

    As we do everything we can to reach our most vulnerable neighbors, your support is what makes our work possible.

    On behalf of all of us here, and especially on behalf of the families we serve, I hope you know just how appreciated you are.

    Sincerely,

    Okay, an important point here. “You helped make it happen”? Uh, no, I didn’t. I have supported this organization in the past, but I didn’t give to this specific campaign. Soooo … why are they thanking me?

    Are they trying to guilt me into giving now? Is that why they’re thanking me for something I didn’t do?

    Or do they not know that I didn’t give? And they’re just sending the thank you out to everyone on the email list for some reason?

    Either way, this email is not giving me warm fuzzies as a supporter. And that’s too bad, because this email could have been written in such a way as to thank donors who did give, present the opportunity for those who didn’t give yet to give now, and still be able to send the email out to the entire list.

    But all of that notwithstanding, the bigger issue is this notion of thanking donors – reflexively and constantly – in every communication, no matter what. There’s this idea that we have to be thanking donors all the time, and that this is some kind of expression of “donor love” or donor centricity.

    There’s a time and a place to thank donors – like in a thank you email sent in response to a donation, in a newsletter where you’re emphasizing positive outcomes, and so on. Because then you’re thanking donors for doing something good and positive – something, in other words, that they’d expect to be thanked for.

    Acknowledging and appreciating your supporters doesn’t mean you have to begin every appeal letter or email with a thank you, or that the purpose of an appeal is to stroke the donor’s ego instead of presenting a compelling offer, or that you just send out blanket thank yous to an entire donor list for no reason.

    When you do that, donors see it as the smokescreen that it so obviously is.

    Plus, it’s patronizing. Most donors are people in the 60s, 70s, and beyond. They know BS when they read it. They also know it’s not endearing to be thanked for something unnecessarily.

    So by thanking donors when it’s not warranted or in communications where it doesn’t fit, you’re not bringing your donors closer. You’re reinforcing the negative impression that most donor communications are just a lot of hot air that really shouldn’t be believed or taken seriously. And all that does is undermine your fundraising.