Fundraising Copywriter George Crankovic

Tag: charity

  • Is this fundraising that works?

    The overline at the top of the fundraising letter reads, “You can join your neighbors to help families facing hunger.”

    So far, so good. Everybody’s against hunger. Then, this: “Every $1 can help feed a family of 3!”

    One thing’s for sure: that exclamation point is certainly justified if only one dollar can feed a family of three. That’s amazing, especially with food prices the way they are today.

    The body copy of the letter begins: “This is the time of year when we pause to reflect on what we’re grateful for…” It goes on in that vein for a few paragraphs, talking about hunger and the holidays.

    Then, here it is again: “every $1 you give to [charity] can help provide 3 meals – enough to feed a family in our community.”

    So, a little confusing here. First, $1 feeds a family of three. Then, $1 provides three meals. Apparently, feeding a family means just one meal per person. But that’s not the real difficulty here.

    No, the problem is the believability of the offer: $1 feeding a family of three. How could that possibly be? It’s just not a credible statement. It’s not believable. The letter explains that it’s “because of our network of food pantries and food bank partners,” but that’s really not much of a rationale.

    Wait, hold on a sec. I see what’s going on here. It’s that weasel-word “help.” “Every $1 can HELP feed a family of 3.” We’re not saying that every $1 actually will feed a family of three. No, we’re saying every $1 can help.

    Well, if that’s the case, then, technically speaking, every $1 that I give can help feed a family of 10. It can help feed all the families in the city. It can help feed all the families in the state. Technically, every $1 that I give can help end world hunger. Because, you know, wink, wink, we’re not saying that every $1 actually will end world hunger — we’re just saying that it can help.

    Call me skeptical, but this kind of thing seems a little questionable. It’s almost as if the charity is counting on donors simply glancing at this and thinking, “Hmm, one dollar feeds a family of three? Okay, I’ll give,” without even noticing the little weasel-word that undercuts the whole thing.

    It’s too bad. The appeal starts with a good template for an offer along the lines of “$XX will feed XX people,” but then it goes sideways. It uses numbers that strain credibility and defy simple common sense, and then on top of that, it makes the whole thing misleading for donors.

    First of all, why raise questions in donors’ minds with numbers and dollar values that seem completely unreasonable? Second, and probably more to the point, wouldn’t it have been better to figure out what the actual dollar value is for providing a meal, and then build a case for giving around that as an opportunity for donors to do good? That way, the offer to donors would be believable as well as credible. And at the end of the day, that’s the kind of offer that’s going to work best in the short term and the long term to move donors to give and keep them giving to support a cause.

  • These 3 things are probably killing your fundraising

    There are three big misconceptions that nonprofits tend to have about direct response fundraising. They’ll definitely bring down your results.

    Misconception 1: “Too much mail will turn donors off.”

    The fact is that donors like to give and want to give. And why not? Donors naturally want to do good. They want to make our world better. And they want to do it through your nonprofit – which is why they’re on your lists for mail and email in the first place. It just doesn’t make sense to ignore them. Let your donors hear from you.

    Misconception 2: “We need to educate donors about our mission.”

    There’s a place for educating and informing donors, but it’s not in your appeals. Your fundraising letters and emails should be all about your donors taking action. And that can start right at the beginning of the appeal with letter leads like “You have been specially selected to take part in this survey” and  “If your faith moves you to help children who are going hungry, please sign and return the petition I’ve enclosed. Here’s why” and  “I’m writing to you because I urgently need your help to overcome a budget shortfall that’s threatening to undo all the good we’ve accomplished together.” Your fundraising should be about action.

    Misconception 3: “The letter needs to sound like the executive director.”

    The fact is that most donors probably don’t know or care who the president or executive director is. That’s not why donors give. The fundraising for a nonprofit isn’t there to validate a particular nonprofit executive. It’s there to validate your donors. It’s the donor’s letter. It should be about her and her values. And if the letter should sound like anybody, it should sound like a friendly human being talking to another human being about something of concern to them both.

    There’s a lot more about these three misconceptions, and you can find it here: https://tinyurl.com/4uh3ek4c

  • The offer in fundraising

    In direct response fundraising, what’s an offer?

    Is it like the offer in commercial direct marketing, or is it completely different?

    Why does the offer matter?

    Is it really the most important thing in a letter appeal or email appeal, as some say?

    If you include an offer in an appeal, won’t that just make your fundraising seem too transactional?

    Is the offer just an exchange of money for outcomes, or does it do more to actually motivate and inspire donors to give?

    Sure, an offer may work in a letter, but what if you’re more interested in your nonprofit’s brand. An offer doesn’t have anything to do with that, does it?

    Good questions, all. Let’s take a closer look at some answers here: https://tinyurl.com/22e74ea4

  • One sure way to make your fundraising better

    The single best thing you can do to improve your fundraising?

    Come to terms with a hard truth: You are not your donors.

    They’re probably older than you, for one thing, which means they have a completely different frame of reference, and for another thing, they have a completely different perspective about your organization, because they’re on the outside, not “in the bubble” like you are.

    These differences in perspective between you and your donors can cause problems when you’re creating your fundraising appeals.

    For example, these differences will influence the photos you use in your direct mail and email appeals, the kinds of stories you tell in your appeals, and how you write and structure your appeals.

    And all three of these will have a huge impact on how much money you’ll raise. There’s more to this. Get the whole story here: https://tinyurl.com/ewntb8h9

  • Want more of your regular donors to become monthly donors?

    Nonprofits love monthly donors for obvious reasons. Monthly donors give consistently, require less frequent fundraising, and tend to be more loyal.

    But to get regular donors to opt into monthly donor status, you have to make this seem like something they would want to do. Which makes this email effort so puzzling. It begins:

    I’m deeply grateful for your support as we work together to bring needed resources to our neighbors experiencing homelessness. 

    As our partner, you’ve truly provided a lifeline to many local community members, especially with the current high cost of living and the uncertainty that accompanies it. 

    That’s the opening. And for these two paragraphs, I’m wondering why they’re writing to me at all, except to express gratitude and suggest that our work is completed, since I’ve apparently already “provided a lifeline.”  I’m thinking “what’s this about? Is it a thank-you email?” It goes on:

    Because I know we share the vision of a community without homelessness, I’m inviting you today to join the [monthly donor program name], the [nonprofit’s] monthly giving circle. 

    Members of [monthly donor program name] donate monthly to ensure vital services are available all year long. This support is critical in ending the cycle of homelessness. 

    Oh, so that’s it. They want me to become a monthly donor. But wait a second, I thought that as an occasional donor I was already ‘sharing the vision’ and ‘ending the cycle of homelessness’ with the gifts I give, at least that’s what they’ve been telling me. It continues:

    With your [monthly donor program name] membership, you can help countless neighbors regain self-sufficiency and hope for the future.  

    Again, I thought I was already doing this with the gifts I currently give. It continues:

    And by signing up online, you can automate monthly gifts, save money on postage, and help reduce administrative costs, too — all while providing access to vital care for community members facing homelessness. 

    It’s only at this point, at the end of the email, that I see some reasons why I might actually want to become a monthly donor. But these reasons are only tacked on as an afterthought.

    A couple things about this. First, there’s this idea that every communication to a donor has to open with gratitude for their support. Sure, there’s a time for thanking and appreciating donors. But not in every communication. What’s more, by telling me that I’ve already provided a lifeline to community members, they’re suggesting that the job is completed, so what do you need me for as a donor?

    Second, if you want me to change my pattern of behavior – like going from an occasional donor to a monthly donor – you better give some pretty good reasons to do it. And those reasons should probably be at or very close to the beginning of the email in order to get my attention.

    Even more to the point, those reasons should be compelling. In this email, I’m offered the opportunity to “automate monthly gifts, reduce postage costs, and help reduce administrative costs.” These aren’t exactly barnburners. Not many donors are sitting in front of their computer thinking, “Gee, I’d really like to automate monthly gifts.”

    There are good, solid reasons a donor would consider becoming a monthly donor, but you have to lay out those reasons explicitly and do it in a way that’s interesting and advantageous for the donor. You can’t expect donors to fill in the gaps on their own and convince themselves. They won’t. Instead, they’ll just move onto the next email.  

  • Why this trait is essential for your fundraising

    Curiosity. It’s a trait that virtually all people share, and it’s one that we definitely want to tap into for fundraising.

    Arousing curiosity is a tried and true way to get donors to notice your direct mail or email appeal, encourage them to keep reading, and guide them to give a gift.

    Of all the techniques we use in direct response fundraising, curiosity is probably one of the most reliable.

    But how do you wield it? Three tips:

    • Reveal some information but not all of it. Curiosity lies in the gap between what we know and what we want to know.
    • Talk about the potential for a big reward or a big disaster. Donors will instinctively want to know what might be coming.
    • Shock or provoke your donors a little. You can nudge or even challenge your donors to want to find out more.

    There’s a lot more to each of these three tips – including specific examples – and you can find it here: https://tinyurl.com/293tk9pd

  • How to keep your donors interested in your fundraising appeal

    It’s the age-old problem: how to engage the readers of your direct-response fundraising appeal to, first, start reading and then to continue reading.

    Luckily, we have some tips from Clarification blog:

    • Talk less about us (the nonprofit) and more about you (the donor).
    • Use shorter paragraphs to make copy more inviting and easier to read.
    • Don’t stop at a compelling headline or subject line. Also consider the subheads, the PS, the salutation, and other components to keep readers engaged.
    • Use a metaphor to paint a picture for your readers.
    • Use quotations but keep them short, so they’re more likely to be read.

    These are all good tips.

    But there’s one additional aspect to good copywriting to add to this list. It’s vital if you want to keep readers motivated, and that’s using transitions.

    Transitions are invaluable if you want to keep your readers moving from one paragraph to the next like a slinky toy going down stairs.

    And in linking your paragraphs together, transitions also make a piece of copy seem like a coherent, crafted whole – a good thing.

    The transitions to use? There are an infinite number, limited only by your imagination. But some that are frequently used include phrases like “that’s just the beginning,” “and don’t forget this,” “and here’s the point,” “we’re not done yet,” “what does this mean to you?” and many, many others.

    Using transitions is one of the best ways to help ensure that your readers take in your complete fundraising message. And that’s your best chance of moving them to give.

  • Two ways to begin a fundraising appeal – from Jerry Huntsinger

    In Jerry Huntsinger’s “86 Tutorials in Creating Fundraising Letters and Packages,” he makes a point about how to begin a fundraising appeal.

    He makes his point with an example. It’s an appeal for a cancer charity. It begins:

    “Children shouldn’t have to face the devastation of cancer and death. But they do. Each year, hundreds of children…”

    It’s the standard, institutional, boilerplate blah, blah, blah. Jerry notes that where the letter actually begins is in the fifth paragraph, with this:

    “Lance was diagnosed with leukemia two days before Christmas. He was 2 years old. ‘Lance was so sick that they flew us to Twin Cities for immediate treatment,’ his mother said. ‘His platelets were so low that his teeth bled through the night.’”

    BAM – there you are, right in the middle of the drama. Nothing institutional about that. Nothing blah, blah, blah about that. Especially that detail about the boy’s teeth bleeding – that detail gets you.

    Sure, starting an appeal with a story is a tried-and-true approach. But here’s the point. The first opening – “Children’s shouldn’t have to face …” – is basic expository prose. It’s simply explaining something. It’s simply conveying a generalization about children and cancer. It’s not trying to involve you. (It’s something you’d get from ChatGPT if you asked it to write an appeal about childhood cancer.)

    The second opening – “Lance was diagnosed …” – is meant specifically to involve you. It’s telling you that this letter is about a human drama playing out right before your eyes. It’s one human being talking to another.

    As Jerry says, the second opening will raise more money.

  • What makes a good offer for a fundraising appeal and what makes a bad one

    Why does the offer matter so much in direct mail fundraising? Let’s take a look at an appeal to find out.

    This is a fundraising appeal from a military nonprofit, and in the body of the letter, the first ask is this: Please let your service members know you stand with them by sending your most generous donation you can to [charity name] today.

    So that’s the call to action – to “stand with” service members. To be honest, that’s a problem. Because “stand with” is vague. It’s a generalization. It’s an abstraction. It’s up in the clouds, instead of being down-on-the-ground concrete.

    The donor isn’t being asked to solve a specific problem, help a specific person, or even to fund a specific initiative of this nonprofit. But to stand with service members. That doesn’t give the donor much to go on.

    The second ask in the letter doesn’t give much to go on either. It’s this: We rely on the generosity of individual Americans in supporting our military. That is why I am asking you to support our troops and their families by giving whatever you can afford to [charity name]. Your gift of $15, $25, or more will make a real difference in the life of a brave hero who is fighting for every one of us.

    A couple things here. The donor shouldn’t be asked to give to a charity. Donors aren’t motivated by giving to a charity. They’re motivated by helping someone or solving a problem or righting a wrong.

    But even beyond that, this ask is again general, vague, and nonspecific. The donor is asked to “support our troops,” but there’s no indication of what that means in this context or how giving a gift will accomplish it.

    Those two calls to action are in the body of the letter. Let’s take a look at the main call to action in the response device. It says: Please help strengthen our service members by keeping them connected to family, home, and country. Your tax-deductible gift to [charity name] will also provide other much-needed services to our military heroes and their families.

    So, first we have “help strengthen our service members,” which is vague. Then we have “keeping them connected to family, home, and country.” Okay, that’s a hint of something. It’s good for service members to be connected to home. But how my gift would do that is not explained. Then there’s this: “…will also provide other much-needed services…” Other much-needed services? Like what?

    This offer provides almost nothing for the donor to latch onto. And in doing so, it fails to answer the donor’s most basic questions. Like, How will my gift help? What will it do? What problem will it solve? Who will it help? These are the questions that must be answered for the donor before she’ll even consider giving.

    In addition to that, instead of being asked to fund a small, specific part of the nonprofit’s mission, the donor is asked to fund the whole thing. That’s too big. It’s too much. Especially when that mission is something vague like keeping service members connected with family, home, and country.

    In direct mail fundraising, with the exception of the list, the offer that you make to donors is probably the most important part of the whole project. In large measure, it’s the offer that determines whether the appeal soars or sinks. Less so for the writing, the graphics, the logo, the size of the envelope, and so on. Those things are important, of course. But ultimately it’s the offer that provides the motivation to give. And if that offer is vague and mushy, then you can expect the response to be too.

  • The envelope teaser

    The burning question in direct mail fundraising?

    Should you use a teaser for the outside envelope of your next appeal, or not?

    Some say the plain, blank envelope is the best ‘teaser,’ a no-teaser kind of teaser.

    But if you use a blank envelope to ‘trick’ people into opening it, and if the appeal isn’t something the donor wants or cares about, and they just toss it, then what have you really gained?

    That’s why the opposing camp suggests using a teaser in order to set the stage for the donor and get her interested in what the appeal is all about, so that when she opens the envelope, she’s ready for something that’s relevant and interesting.

    Along those lines, there are three basic types of teasers that work.

    There’s the offer teaser.

    There’s the benefit teaser.

    And there’s the curiosity teaser.

    To get the whole story – including specific examples for each kind of teaser – visit https://tinyurl.com/ew65trr3