For direct mail fundraising, you have to keep it simple.

There’s a tendency to throw in lots of information in an effort to bolster the appeal. But this has the opposite effect. It just over-complicates the appeal.

This is especially important when it comes to the offer.  

Pare down your ask until it’s an easy-to-understand statement, ideally something that simply and directly communicates ‘Your gift of $X will accomplish Y.’ Don’t complicate things with details about your nonprofit’s 25^th anniversary, your organization’s history, your dedicated staff, your programs, and so on. Donors want to know the problem that needs to be solved, and they want to know what their gift will do to solve it. So tell them, without the embellishment.