How and why to get the copy voice right in fundraising appeals

Why would a nonprofit, say, one fighting climate change, use messaging like this for a fundraising appeal. …

Dear Ms. Joan Sample,

I am writing to you today from [charity], a dedicated advocate for climate action and environmental sustainability. As you may know, our planet is facing unprecedented challenges due to climate change, and the need for immediate action has never been more urgent.

At [charity], we are committed to combating climate change through innovative projects, community engagement, and policy advocacy. Our recent initiatives include installing an array of solar panels, which have already made a significant impact. However, to continue this vital work, we need your support.

… when they could use messaging like this instead …

Dear Ms. Joan Sample,

I am writing this appeal on a hot July afternoon.

My 11-month-old son is playing at my feet as I do. I look at Joe and I look at the blazing heat outside and I wonder how I can avoid talking about the greenhouse effect in nakedly personal terms. 

But why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I tell you how much I fear for the world we’re preparing for Joe?

The first appeal reads like a corporate memo coming out of the accounting department at IBM. It’s predictable, bland, and deadly boring.

The second one reads like it was written by an actual living, breathing, feeling person. It hasn’t been reviewed to death by a committee. It’s honest, relatable, personal, and human. When you read it, it draws you in. And even better, it makes you more receptive to whatever will follow.

That’s the reaction we want to elicit from donors, and it comes from using an engaging copy voice. Many nonprofits struggle to get this right, for a number of reasons.

They feel they have to speak to donors from a position of expertise and authority about the cause. But then the copy becomes long and pretentious.

They use industry jargon and buzz words like “food insecure.” But then the copy confuses donors and keeps them at arm’s length.

They think that the appeal letter has to sound like the president or executive director. But then the copy talks past donors, not at them, because what the president thinks is motivating often isn’t what donors think is motivating.

What it comes down to is this: donors, like most people, respond best to plain talk. That’s why good fundraising copywriting is conversational. It’s write-like-you-talk writing. Simple words, short sentences, short paragraphs, with contractions, sentence fragments, and all the rest.

The appeal should read like it was written by a friendly, thoughtful person who’s concerned about an issue and hopes the reader will be too. That human connection builds a rapport with donors. And that turns into a relationship with donors. And donors who have a relationship with your nonprofit will likely give more and give more often, which means increases in revenue and retention. You can see more here: https://tinyurl.com/ye269hxe